It is easy to be absorbed by the negativity that surrounds foster care and foster parenting. Ask me about any facet of foster care and I can quickly give you a response about how hard, challenging, and terrible it is. It is much more difficult to view foster care from a positive perspective and I often find myself wondering if anyone would choose to become a foster parent based on what I have told them. I can’t say that I…
If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that question, I would be rich. Every time a child comes into our home through foster care, I am asked this question. The goal of foster care is not adoption. It’s that simple. Although adoption may be the end result for some kids in care, foster care is meant to keep children safe and to give birth families a second chance with the ultimate goal of reunification. Whether…
Recently, I was talking with a friend about the ins and outs of foster care and some of the things we have experienced with each of our foster children. We were discussing, specifically, the dilemma of schooling when children are removed from their homes. Each of our five foster children had to transfer into the school district in which we live at some point during their stay with us. For four, that transfer was immediate. Our current foster son was…
We chose foster care. Foster care wasn’t our “Plan B”, it was our “Plan A”. When my husband and I discussed having a family, we agreed that the way we were going to build our family was not going to be typical or traditional. I enjoy telling people I have six kids even though only one lives in my house. The awkward laughs are what motivate me some days. Do I fault those who do sign up for foster care…
COVID-19. Coronavirus. It’s all we hear about. It has ruined our plans…wrecked people’s lives. Weddings, graduations, birthday parties, vacations – they were over before they even started. Our everyday norms of school and employment were suddenly taken from us. Our lives came to a screeching halt and we are all suffering whiplash because of it. After each of our foster kids have returned home, we have taken a break from fostering to allow ourselves to heal emotionally and even recover…
I know how you feel. My husband and I have been married for ten years and we have no biological children. We hosted a high school international student for two years, had two foster sons for approximately three years, and are now fostering our second set of boys. I wouldn’t trade those five years with our “kids” for anything in the world. It was Mother’s Day of 2017 – my first Mother’s Day with our foster sons. Although we had…
Our foster care journey started in 2015. After many stops and starts, expectations and disappointments, and mounds of paperwork, my husband and I officially became foster parents in August of 2016 when our (first) two foster sons moved into our home. We weren’t even technically licensed yet, but here they were. They were 8 and 10 years old with a long list of behaviors, traumas, and family baggage that moved in with them. You can imagine the comments we received. …
Those of us who have lived in the trenches of foster care have heard it uttered many times: “You signed up for this.” A technically true, but cold and insensitive response to what was surely a foster parent venting their frustrations with the foster care system, their nine billionth call from their foster child’s school, or the day-to-day toils of raising a child with a traumatic background. Yes, I did sign up for this. I have come to a crossroads…
