It is easy to be absorbed by the negativity that surrounds foster care and foster parenting. Ask me about any facet of foster care and I can quickly give you a response about how hard, challenging, and terrible it is. It is much more difficult to view foster care from a positive perspective and I often find myself wondering if anyone would choose to become a foster parent based on what I have told them. I can’t say that I…
If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that question, I would be rich. Every time a child comes into our home through foster care, I am asked this question. The goal of foster care is not adoption. It’s that simple. Although adoption may be the end result for some kids in care, foster care is meant to keep children safe and to give birth families a second chance with the ultimate goal of reunification. Whether…
Recently, I was talking with a friend about the ins and outs of foster care and some of the things we have experienced with each of our foster children. We were discussing, specifically, the dilemma of schooling when children are removed from their homes. Each of our five foster children had to transfer into the school district in which we live at some point during their stay with us. For four, that transfer was immediate. Our current foster son was…
We chose foster care. Foster care wasn’t our “Plan B”, it was our “Plan A”. When my husband and I discussed having a family, we agreed that the way we were going to build our family was not going to be typical or traditional. I enjoy telling people I have six kids even though only one lives in my house. The awkward laughs are what motivate me some days. Do I fault those who do sign up for foster care…
My entire life I have believed that life begins at conception. The majority of my family believes that, my church believes that, and naturally, many of my friends (though not all) are pro-life. I know that this belief is a fundamental pillar of my faith. The majority of pro-life marketing focuses on and emphasizes life before birth, as it should. Perhaps the sole purpose of many pro-life organizations is to guide the mother-to-be through her options and give her support…
June is National Reunification Month in the foster care world. As a foster parent, reunification is something that I have come to terms with as the ultimate ending in my role as a foster parent. One of the pillars that defines foster care is that it is temporary. Foster parents are there to stand in the gap – to take care of someone else’s children while the birth parents get a second chance at redeeming their own lives. The concept…
COVID-19. Coronavirus. It’s all we hear about. It has ruined our plans…wrecked people’s lives. Weddings, graduations, birthday parties, vacations – they were over before they even started. Our everyday norms of school and employment were suddenly taken from us. Our lives came to a screeching halt and we are all suffering whiplash because of it. After each of our foster kids have returned home, we have taken a break from fostering to allow ourselves to heal emotionally and even recover…
I am often asked what someone can do to support our family as we foster. When I started this blog, a few people asked me to write a post describing ways to support a foster family. I chewed on that idea for a while, but I couldn’t come up with anything that I felt was really compelling. I realize that many people might feel awkward asking a foster family what they need, or perhaps they don’t realize how many needs…
The term “self-care” is one of those trendy concepts that has become widely overused in most corners of the internet. In fact, I would venture to say that it has been promoted out of context and is now synonymous for “do whatever makes you feel good”. A term that was meant to encourage mental, physical, and emotional health is now a throw away term with an elastic meaning. Social media tells us to indulge and drown our sorrows all in…
I know how you feel. My husband and I have been married for ten years and we have no biological children. We hosted a high school international student for two years, had two foster sons for approximately three years, and are now fostering our second set of boys. I wouldn’t trade those five years with our “kids” for anything in the world. It was Mother’s Day of 2017 – my first Mother’s Day with our foster sons. Although we had…
